Why Tessa & I Will Rule the World
Today’s text conversation on the way to work:
Me: What are you up to?
Tessa: Watching ‘What Not to Wear’ and about to go get my abdominal ultrasound.
Me: What if you were impregnated by aliens?
Tessa: I guess I’m going to explode one of these days. Or I need an intergalactic abortion.
Me: You would kill your mutant baby?!
Tessa: Its that or spontaneously combust…either way sounds bad.
Me: Think ‘Men in Black’, when Will Smith delivers the alien squid baby.
Tessa: Yea buut she’s alraeady an alien. Mine would probably be more like the movie ‘Ailen’
Me: With a face only a mother could love?
Tessa: No…like busting out of my gut and then feeding off my dead carcass.
Me: I’ve never seen that movie. Shit.
Tessa: Lamo. Well just picture what I said. Is that what you want for me??? Lol.
Me: I say you take your alien baby daddy on Maury.
Tessa: How do I know who it is?
Me: DNA test, of course. ‘I’m Here For the 30th Time, Can You Find My Intergalactic Baby Daddy?’
Tessa: He flew off on me. Lamo.
Me: I’m sure Maury could get Sylvia Browne to find him. I’m sure the baby will have his dad’s eyes. It’s always in the eyes.
Tessa: The ultrasound tech just told me I have a beautiful spleen.
Me: You’re texting me during your ultrasound?!?!
No reply.
You’ve never seen the original ‘Alien’??!?!?!!??!!!?!?! Well, I don’t think I’ve seen it in its entirety, so there you go.
And it could’ve been worse; she could’ve been texting you during a visit to the OB/GYN. Awkward!
I’m pretty sure I’ve text her during an OB/GYN vist. We’re entirely too close, haha.
yess… yes i have texted you during my girly doctor visits. this was so long ago and it still makes me laughhhh. we are awesome. <3